I'm back

So after 10 weeks of work and Christmas and moving, I am back. It seems like I am the only one of all my friends who is blogging. Anyway I finished all of my work And I am moving to California. I am learning to fly the Super Hornet. Its a great airplane. I know that I was going to continue my thing with Goth chicks on myspace. I realize that no one is reading this. Shit my own girlfriend doesn't read my blog. But it is a bit theraputic to write what I am thinking so I am going to keep doing it. Hopefully I can think of something clever to say in the next couple of weeks.

Sort of a cop out

Yeah, I know,
Everyone was waiting and just holding their breath for my witty and wry observations on goth chicks on myspace. Unfortunately that will probably have to go on hold for a while. The school I am in right now is a real ass kicker and I don't have much time to write. But don't worry, any school where the final exam is in Vegas can't be all bad right? Anyway I'll get back at it when I have more time.

Myspace deconstructed pt 2

Well I'm back at it. My scientific attempt to categorize the various species of the denizens of Myspace. As promised the next installment is....The Jersey Meathead.
Now first a little about the name. The Jersey meathead is not necessarily from NJ anymore than a Jersey cow has to be from England. Much like the breeding of dogs, this is an offshoot of both the serious athlete combined with the frat boy. So anyway the first thing that one sees on the Jersey Meathead page is going to be a picture of this guy with his shirt off or in a wife beater. The main feature of the picture is the striking of the "I'm so huge" pose. Now the car doesn't have to be in the picture but trust me it will be there somewhere. Next to the picture is the quote. Typically it is something self agrandizing. "You think you can handle this ladies?" or something of the like. Ususally the music of the Meathead has a very "Night at the Roxbury" vibe to it. This can be separated from the truly insane gym rat, by the fact that the hardcore dude will have some form of seriously hardcore music going. Anyway delving in to the picture file is quite revealing. If the car is not featured in the picture at the beginning, it will be featured at least twice in the photo section. One will be the car alone in all of its awesomeness and at least one with the meathead posing on the hood. The rest of the pictures are going to be devoted to the girls that they met at the club this past weekend and of course at least one professional picture of a playmate snuck in there to see if we are paying attention. Looking at the friend file you can see that the meathead only associated with other Meatheads. They will of course comment on the great pursuits of meatheadom: getting laid, driving fast cars and of course being huge. All of these things will be listed on the interests. Other interests include getting drunk trying to get laid and getting drunk. The only interests that are not found are attempting to get the knuckles off of the ground. That and crocheting quilts. Out in the real world one can identify the meathead by the booming (yet really bad) music coming out of the pimped stereo in the 1999 Camaro with the real working hood scoop. Also notable would be the shirt that is almost tight enough to allow one to see the guys internal organs.
Like I said these are not designed to reflect on anyone I know just what I have seen.

Next time.....The Goth chick

Hey, whaaaahapann?

I'll get back to the whole myspace thing in a bit but I have one fantasy football related thing...
Hasselbeck, what the F dude. That was absolutely awful. If you are going to lose anyway, just throw the damn ball away!

Myspace deconstructed pt1

All right. I realize that I am about 150 years behind the times, But MySpace... I'll caveat this with the fact that yes I have a myspace thing and it has helped me connect with old friends from school. But further than that, it has taught me something. That there are about 10 different personality profiles out there that are duplicated 100 million times. So for the next several blogs I am going to attempt to hit up each of these templates. It'll be fun you can see which one of these you are. I will not name names. And now the first species.

The 18 to 22 year old party girl. (I set these ages because I am not the creepy guy who is cruising for underage girls, not actually cruising for any girls at the moment, this is purely in the interest of science) The first identifying characteristic of this type is the background that is so bright and full of crazy moving and flashing things, that it has probably killed at least half a dozen epileptics to date. After you staunch the stinging in your retinas, you are then treated to the dulcet tones of Justin Timberlake music blaring in the background. Sometimes it is some form of hip hop if the girl is shooting for a little street cred, but mostly it is the Timberlake type pop music. Looking around, you see that not much has changed from the highschool quest for popularity, with her 1247 friends. Underneath that, there is naturally the 500 comments from the friends that are utterly unintelligible and usually involve a font that has a lot of glitter on it. Continuing the perusal you see of course the "what type of lover?" are you quiz, or the Thing that spells out her name as an acronym of some form of descriptions about her inherent awesomeness. The most telling aspect of this particular type is, of course, the picture file. Diving in there is where you find the smorgasboard of middle class privilege. There is her cheerleading picture. There is the picture of her and her girlfriends around her graduation present car, There is of course the picture of them all doing shots of tequila at senior frogs in Cancun during last spring break. There is some picture of her almost making out with one of her sorority sisters and then the classic boyfriend picture. This one is the most telling sign if she is single or not. If there is no boyfriend, then substitute a relative in there, sister, parents, etc. That's pretty much it other than the self description about how unique she is and how she likes puppies and helping little kids and whatnot. Rinse, repeat about 150,000 times and you have stereotype numero uno.
Stay tuned for the next one, The Jersey meathead

A little vindication

So as is the case when I am bored or otherwise less than employed, I have dusted off ye old blog and begin to throw some thoughts down. First and foremost.
The Fantasy football league. Now I am not one to throw out the trash talk, but what a difference a year makes. Yeah fellas its a little different this time. You try managing a team on a ship with internet connectivity that's about like yelling into a can on a string. 3-0 boys. Yeah... Alright, I'm done with that. Felt pretty good too.
So whats going on. I am officially out of my old squadron and am just sort of bouncing around before I report to the new command. Its kind of interesting. Doing nothing is fun. For about a day. Then you realize how bored you are. But that will change soon enough.
Anyway. I have to laugh about how fired up people are about the Seahawks out here right now. Now I know that I have lambasted Seattle fans in at least one other article but I am going to slightly defend them now. There are teams that accuse the Seahawks of piping in noise to the stadium. Time was that they had to pipe a pulse into the place. Let me remind you of where you are. Its Seattle. This is not the land of the Cheeseheads or the Terrible towels. These poor folks tried to come out with a Twelfth man T-shirt and got sued by Texas A&M university. (Very bush league, Aggies). So in the land of grande skinny half caf mocha lattes, do you really begrudge the city its fleeting interest in a pro team. I mean lets be honest. Holmgren is just as shocked as you are about the noise. So to the rest of the teams in the league just go with the silent snap count or yell louder and stop whining.
Anyway I am going to try to blog a little harder but thats it for now.

So there are no pictures

Hey,
So as I am sure everyone is up about, I recently returned from the wedding of Tom and Allison. It was a great time. Because I think that the camera steals my soul, there are no pictures on this post (I forgot my camera) All of the usual superlatives must be used. Allison look absolutly beautiful, Tom cleaned up pretty good. The service was top notch although I must admit that I was not expecting to be asked a question. I figured that I handled it well. Anyway It was great to see everyone. (Even the bride and groom made an appearence at the afterparty) I hope that everyone is doing well, And I promise I'll think of some thing to be cynical and complain about next time